Male equivalent of spinster (2025)

Although I've read that the term spinster isn't considered so pejorative as it used to be to refer to a woman who has never married, my question has to do with the term used for

. Just bachelor? Is there a term for that?

Hi,

This is all about the force of societal expectations. There was a time when women were expected to get married and raise a family. Deviations from this "normal" path were met with disapproval. Times have changed (somewhat) !

The pressure for men to marry was/is less. Bachelor is the term for an unmarried man (it could be divorcee, or widower in some circumstances). Context determines whether the term batchelor is used disapprovingly.

Ah, I understand! So if I want to refer to a guy who wasn't able to marry

, (kind of stuck in his bachelor status) the context that I insert the word bachelor would give the idea, right?

"confirmed bachelor" is a phrase commonly used to indicate a man devoted to the single lifestyle and is often used by older single men to describe themselves. I think "single" is the common term for both sexes now.

As for "spinster", I think it would be considered insulting by most older single women I know, just as "old maid" would be.

Vanda said:

Ah, I understand! So if I want to refer to a guy who wasn't able to marry

because nobody wanted to marry him

, (kind of stuck in his bachelor status) the context that I insert the word bachelor would give the idea, right?

Click to expand...

I don't think "bachelor" implies that no one wants him. In fact, when I was growing up, "bachelor" had a sort of debonair, sexy connotation, something like the connotation of "player" now. I think "bachelor" is much more neutral now, and a little old-fashioned sounding. "Destined to be single" might be a phrase to indicate that he is not likely to be successful in securing a long-term relationship.

On a side note, I think "spinster" and "old maid" were more common when the role was considered more permanent. It was a fixed role in the community. I think things are more fluid now and it's not assumed that someone will always be unmarried simply because they are not married at some given age.

JamesM said:

I don't think "bachelor" implies that no one wants him. In fact, when I was growing up, "bachelor" had a sort of debonair, sexy connotation, something like the connotation of "player" now. I think "bachelor" is much more neutral now, and a little old-fashioned sounding. "Destined to be single" might be a phrase to indicate that he is not likely to be successful in securing a long-term relationship.

On a side note, I think "spinster" and "old maid" were more common when the role was considered more permanent. It was a fixed role in the community. I think things are more fluid now and it's not assumed that someone will always be unmarried simply because they are not married at some given age.

Click to expand...

I am trying to find an equivalent term for a popular expression we have for this kind of person I quoted above: didn't marry because nobody wanted to marry him or her.(I know this is outdated in our modern world, but our people like to use it in a pejorative way).
Confirmed bachelor, as you've mentioned, would - kind of - describe it, although it doesn't give the negative conotation we use in our particular term. I think the best way is the one both of you recommended me before: insert it in the context.

Hi,

I did see some phrase with the meaning you want vanda.
I can't recall what it was, "<blank> batchelor" I think, maybe unwilling or unintentional. I don't know.

This is the right place, maybe someone will remember.

I think you've hit on it, AWordLover! I found this via Google, among many other instances of "unwilling bachelor":

An unwilling bachelor(that means I'm looking,but not finding a woman).

"On the shelf" sounds very much like the equivalent of your 'stuck', Vanda. But to the best of my knowledge it was only ever used for women.

I won't speculate on the reasons or this could turn into a very long post

Loob

Added to previous thread:
Cagey, moderator

Context:

Spinster is a pejorative term for a woman "of a certain age" who has never wed.

The nearest I can think of for men is "confirmed bachelor" but that lacks the pejorative flavor of "spinster".

Question:

Is there a word that means for men, what "spinster" means for woman.

Note: "Of a certain age" means "past the usual age for marriage" whatever that might be today. Also I think "spinster" is rapidly becoming a "orphan word", one with no generation still using it. Also, if she is rich enough "spinterhood" does not arrive. I doubt anyone would label the 66 year old Oprah Winfrey as a "spinster".

JamesM said:

An unwilling bachelor(that means I'm looking,but not finding a woman).

Click to expand...

Or reluctant bachelor. Mind you, I wouldn't call either term especially pejorative.

I've also heard lifelong bachelors (and 'merry widowers') referred to ~

jokily ~ as gay old dogs, regardless of whether or not they're actually gay.